Knock ‘Em Out

by thefeargirls

By Sophia Rowland

When Ian messaged me, I really didn’t want to talk to him. We usually run into each other at parties and he always awkwardly hits on me…

Now you’re all:  “Sophia, you’re so mean.” But I’m not, actually. Ian hits on me, and then he makes the rounds hitting on everyone else in a skirt. It’s the kind of “getting hit on” that borders pathetic/creepy. Like when you’ve made it clear in your body language and dialogue that you’re not interested. You’ve done everything you can except scream “I’M NOT GOING TO FUCK YOU.” You may have even said casually, “Hey, I’m not going to fuck you,” but the dude doesn’t pick that up. No. Of course not. When a woman says “no,” what she really means is “OH BABY, YES!”

So back to our play-by-play of the above Facebook chat. Ian was all “hey” and I was like “hey man, what’s up?” because I’m a little polite. Then he’s all “blah blah baseball blah” and I’m thinking How the fuck do I get out of this one? Do I casually bring up my boyfriend? (Though at the time that would have been a lie.) That line usually gets the message across…

But I didn’t want to lie. I wanted to socially experiment. AND BOY DID IT WORK. Feminism. The boner killer of men who only think with their boners. Yikes, did he log off fast. And have a heard from him since? Oh, no.I remember once not so long ago, before going to a party I was nervous about meeting new people. I only knew one other person who was going to be there and the inner 6th-grade girl inside me was feeling “un-cool.” My dad said, “Just be yourself… and watch how much you talk about your feminist blog.” So what did I do? The first cute boy who starts talking to me I begin word-vomiting about my feminist blog. However! This had the opposite effect than it did with Ian. Party guy and I hit it off and actually went on a few dates. He was a decent dude.
And then it happened again with another dude.
And another.
A mathematical equation was beginning to form…

Lame dudes = “Ahhh feminisim! No, get away from me, you she-devil!”
Decent dudes = “Feminisim, like equality, right?”
Rad dudes = “Oh cool, what do you write about on your feminist blog?”
Awesome dudes = “Can I contribute to your feminist blog?” ← Hint hint, this one is a keeper!

Interesting, interesting. But why do I feel so crummy about the conversation with Ian? I mean, it is a very hilarious story… and we all know how much I like those. Also, I am 0% interested in him. Why does it bother me that he stopped talking to me? Now you’re thinking:
“Sophia, come on…you kinda deserved it.”

Maybe you’re right, maybe I did. But it really bothers me that feminism freaked him out, that it freaks a lot of guys out. And though it’s nice to have “My feminist blog” as a litmus test for men (and sometimes women) in my life, it’s also pretty depressing how often it has men running for the hills.